My teachers..

I almost cried out when i saw this photos.. The one on our left, is actually my 2 years older senior.. Simon Kong.. One of the most talented Chinese Orchestra player and Conductor I know..

Then One of my Science Teacher.. which i totally forgotten his name.. but i remember once thing about him.. That he was a very kind man.. He had never loose his temper and had all the patience for his students..

Then, Mr Hiew, I remember him coz he was our vice principal.. He is so gentle and kind.. I can't believe he was not the head master after my generation.. Then the far right.. Mr Teo, my music teacher.. who i use to hang out at his house for lunch and tea and once stayed over with his family coz my mom couldn't come and pick me up after a performance.. he and his family was so kind..

To see them grown so old when I don't feel like I left too long ago makes me a little sad..

Like suddenly they grown so old..

Time really flies.. but I can see that they are happy.. they are honored.. and they are respected..

They have been so faithful..

This was my orchestra practice area.. I use to seat at the blue chair where all the flute were..

We had some good times and hard times then.. but mostly.. great times :)

The Chinese Music Orchestra was like a church to me back then..

We have a saying:

Chinese Orchestra is a Family..

Gossiping...

You either in, or you are out!!!

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So am I in? or out? I'm most probably the off? like.. "har? what happened? why am I the last to know?" that kinda off.. do I gossip... I could never say no, just like asking me "Do you sin?" of course yes lar.. but never proud of it.. but trying as much as I can to not to and be a better person..

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I was a victim of gossip to.. and I know how it feels.. since young, the gossip had an impact in my life until to a point... It made me nuts!! depressed and now I know how to handle it.. I know I have overcome this thing call Gossip.. In my life, Gossip started since primary School!!! So dun you think i got enough practice on it? lol... Always being the victim and not just being gossiped but being judged based on the gossips.. because of some childish reasons people accuse me of doing.. like wht, you may ask? like not smiling when we meet; Close my eye when I look towards the person; Worst gossip!!! I said something bad about someone when I didn't!!! Gossips becomes an accusation without any basis.. Silly and petty incidence right? ya.. children mar..

But does it mean it hurt less? Of course no lar.. the whole class believed in those gossips and never consider that it could just have been a misunderstanding that it made me loose friends.. I hate untrue accusations..

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On the other hand.. when issues that is gossiped is actual true... now what? So I am still the victim? If you have nothing to talk about, people wouldn't BE talking about you... right? Jeng Jeng Jeng~~~ Slander is always a bad thing.. but we can't stop others from talking illy of us, because we may have hurt them, without knowing.. and we cannot blame them for not being up front either.. Even though we know they should do that but before we chould say that about them... are we the same? har... if we are... then nothing to say lar.. coz if we point the finger on them, you are pointing more fingers back on yourself.. Means, we may be gossiping others also.. check ourselves first hor.. may be God is trying to make us taste our own meds.. Just think about it lar..

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So how to handle gossip? how to take the slanders? When it's true or untrue?

What does the bible said? When you know there is a gossip.. don't hind behind it lar.. If it is possible.. go and tell your brother/sister or the person tt hates u :P that he/she had slander and that has hurt you.. if the person dun listen, bring another fren.. and if again the person don't listen.. then you may have to ask for higher authority to deal with the person.. Means you need to Confront the gossiper with Love..

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For me if it is untrue gossip, I may take the coward way out... easier.. just ignore it.. since it is untrue... it will not stick long.. and my true frens will know me for who I am and know tt it is untrue.. I do not need to be afraid of any untrue gossips... but there is a problem with this method.. What if others (who does not really know me) believes in the gossip and they acted on it? then I am in big trouble.. .

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How if it is true? We did made this mistake and we did put shame onto ourselves... We feel terrible, don't we... and yet our 'family' members put salt onto our wounds.. it hurts more.. we feel rejected, depress, then up set and later, disappointed, devastated then angry... you know where it leads. So, same thing, what should we do? Go to the person who started all this gossiping and found out how we have hurt them, repent, find forgiveness (sincerely) and peace in them then move on... But I know sometimes even after that, people still continue to talk or they don't forgive us.. but we did our part.. Do what ever we humanly can and leave the rest to God lor..

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For me, I may just talk to someone else, repent and then only talk to the person I've hurt.. Coz I'm not tt strong to just go up to a person and ask wht's going on without preparing myself for the worst..

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So, we learn from the Bible what should we do lar.. It's not easy and nobody likes to confront others.. regardless they are right or wrong.. but all I know is, it is the right thing to do when we do this in love..

Having another baby...

Being pregnant for the second time is not an easy task.. especially when you have one older kid which is still, in a lot of ways... a baby... to take care of.. tiring!!!

So i hope my post will be short and sweet from now on.. except when I have much emotions or thoughts I would like to express.. (wai.. no time..) ahahaha..

Check up today... here are some.. erm... baby photos? :P See if you can see my little baby's head, hands and feet...

This is a 3D scan... I think? Still look a little.. erm.. alien? :P still growing and forming mar..

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My children cannot be too serious lar.. must take life sometimes (sometimes) with a pinch of salt.. Serious when needs to be serious.. and still able to laugh at ourselves at times..
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Can you see baby's head, hands and feet?

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Ei? EDD is 26 May 2010.. ahahaha no more 23rd May? :P Could be early like Alexander and it will be 23rd May 2010.. ahahaha..

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You may ask if I would like to have the same birthday as my baby... i will tell you.. No. I want her to have her own special day.. no need to share with anyone from the family.. :D but even if it is on the same day, then we'll make it special for the both of us..

Alexander 1st Birthday..

Alexander's 1 year old birthday was a blast!! Thank you all for making it.. Thank you for the presents and monetary gifts.. and gifts to come :D

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I'm so greatful that my father, mother, younger brother in law manage to make it to this special event.. And my bro Kennedy, sis in law , Edward and Connicious from my side of the family came too. Truly glad you all made it..

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All our AIA frens and church members.. thank you for taking the trouble being there.. hope it was fun for all of you as it is for us... My Corbis frens.. hope you had a good time with some of our old frens..

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I'm sure the children had fun coz there was so much toys, goodies and fries for them.. ahahaha.. and dun forget having Chicky there (the mascot) was one of Alexander's fav time.. Alexander's eye just brightens up as soon as he layed his eyes on Chicky.. ahaha.. I think if Alexander could talk, he would want to bring Chicky home..

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The party was awesome with family and frens and the little children running around with colourful balloons and toys to bring home.. food was of course pretty standard.. wished it could be better though.. but really, it's the ppl that went there tt made the place so brighten up..

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I haven't seen my official photographer's photos yet.. i hope i get to see them soon :) Some pictures taken by my frens was wonderful.. thank you Han Then, Wai wai, Chris Lim and Lydia Yee for posting it on facebook..

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Must apologies if we did not manage to take photos with some of the families attended that day.. we have more opportunities again.. dun worry :)
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Must say that we enjoyed ourselves very much..

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To my son Alexander.. Happy Birthday darling.. on 1st November 2009 (Sunday)

A Soldiers Prayer

We are all Soldiers of God.. we go into battles that we believe for wht we stand for. Not just for a country or the safety of our family but for a Kingdom that last forever. We wished that there would be no war, not war on earth no war anywhere, no more death no more good byes..

But the spiritual battle in everyone of us, we must go through.. the war between good and evil will never end.. until Jesus comes again.. Those smiles from our loved ones are like the fulfillment of our hearts when we enter heaven one day.. as we are in the battle field the only place we wanna be is home.. and where God is, there is where we call home..

When our flight is over and we meet Him face to face,
Our Heavenly Father will tell us,
that He is proud that we ran a good race.
He will give us a hug and and gentle kiss on the cheek,
and the best thing of all,
He'll wishper...
"Welcome home my child, you are now at peace."

"you never gave up, when things went so wrong.
you never back down, from troubles and mourns.
you stand for truth and righteousness in My Kingdom
you forgive and make peace so you may lead them"

"you've run a good race that I am proud of
you've stand your ground, rooted with my wisdom
you've show the world that I love them too
as you showed your love as I have loved you."

Among faith, hope and love; the greatest is Love
show it and give it to all that deserves
the hardest lesson one could ever know
Is to love so much that it hurt our soul

yet God ask us to love unconditionally
expecting nothing, not even a candy
it hurst so much when another doesn't love back..
but know that Jesus also went through that

What love got to do about the war or the battle?
i think because we always struggle
To love or not to love; to forgive or not to forgive?
The answer? You know what it is...

Verbs about my relationship with God:

Love
When I die, I hope my tomb stone would write

“Jesus loves you. Yea you! I’m talking to you. Yea! You standing in front of my tomb stone!”

LOL.. One of the hardest act of grace and kindness is to Love.. When we forgive, we love.. When we let go, we love.. When we obey, we love.. When we sacrifice, we love.. When just listen, we love.. When we strife (for someone), we love.. When we pray, we love.. When we care, we love.. When we persevere, we love.. When we give, we love.. When we endure, we love.. When we trust, we love.. When we leave the men alone when they are not thinking about anything, we love :D We tries to understand (even if we really don’t), we love..

Passionate
I am passionate about many things.. but the most important is not things at all.. they are ppl in my life.. that made a difference in my whole being.. Passion for Jesus that I live my live according (as much as I could) to His word.. in hope that when we meet face to face He will say to me,

“You have run a great race, Susana Magdalene! I’m proud of you, my anak (LOL)! Come and join me.” ..

Jesus drives me! His promises provokes me! His love moved me! His life, inspire me! His spirit, transformed me! Passion for the things Christ called me to do.. Anything he calls me to do.. to choose Him first and I mean first was the hardest act of passion yet filled with conviction and determination, I choose Jesus..

Compassionate
Because I’m such an emotional person… my weakness as well as my strength I suppose.. I have compassion for my family that I pray and consider them the closest people that could know me inside out.. in hope that one day I will see them together in the place where God is in eternity.. family does not mean only blood related, friends who are closer than my own blood, they are family to me.. In my heart and spirit, I always have compassion for troubled teens coz I was a troubled teen too.. I know I can be a miracle for someone someday… (nightmare for others.. akakakaka.. all in the line fo duty!) as I believe I am called to be.. a nightmare… NO LAR!!!!!~~ akakakaka…. may be a nobody to the world, but somebody to you.. (Yea you! I’m talking to you! Yea you reading this post :P)

Inspirational
God is such an inspiration tomy life that I can’t stop learning and growing (in tears and joy) in His presence and in everything that I do.. daily! God is in everything I do.. In His word, in the music that I hear, in the smiles of my darlings, in the lives of friends and the struggles of teenagers, etc. He inspire me to be better, to see with His heart and not with my own eyes.. (sometimes I wish I don't coz then I feel I know too much.. knowing doesn't make us wise… is when we execute the knowledge in God’s Spirit that knowledge becomes wisdom.) To understand people around me even when I don’t, To feel wht He feels, to know what He knows.. especially what is in God’s heart..

Transforming
How can someone say that they love Jesus but their lives did not change at all!? Where got such thing? Nonsense! A life without transformation is a live without Jesus.. (Don’t persecute me when I say that, please..) If our lives is not changed then something is truly wrong! Either (I dun wanna way it) or we did not love Jesus enough to let go of our OLD self, our old ways, our old mind set/thinking? Make sense?

Re 2:21 I gave her time to repent, but she would not turn away from her immorality.

Look at the lives of all who have been touched by God.. Not one is not transformed.. none.. Many dunno how I was transformed because many thought that I was always nice.. I am nice (i think but just being nice ain't gonna make me who I am today).. and insecure, confuse, indecisive, naive, paranoid, hot tempered, emotional and much more.. but God gave me confidence, gave me hope and strength and joy.. Most of all His love and life on the cross.. how can anyone be the same again..

“Jesus loves you! Yea! YOU!!!”

"No arms, No legs, No worries!" -- Nick Vujicic

What God can do with out weaknesses.. Amazing things.. God does not look at our ability... but our availability... watch until the end... Dun just because it loads too slow you give up... the end may be the most important part you need to see... but alas... we sometimes give up half way,,,

DON"T GIVE UP!!!

Be Encouraged....